Concerns
Anxiety
protective & Helpful until…
Unhelpful anxiety, down to a simple equation, occurs when we magnify a threat (“something bad will happen…no, something HORRIBLE will happen”) and we minimize our capacity to handle it. Naturally, we tend to avoid the very things that can prove our beliefs about the threats and our capacity wrong!
Anxiety has also become a label we attach to many uncomfortable emotions we would rather not experience.
Perfectionism
A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD
You may not see perfectionism as a problem because the truth is… it can be an asset. It is maladaptive when excessively high standards and a relentless inner self critic has you fuelled to prove vs stretch yourself.
Anxiety can feed perfectionism and perfectionism can feed anxiety. Many people living in toxic over-achievement mode (never feeling good enough, fearing failure, judgment and disapproval) are exhausted! Working hard is important to them, but the perfectionism is actually hindering their productivity.
We sometimes gauge our worth on conditions. I’ll be good enough when… (ex. “I’m good enough when I get above 90% in all classes”). The annoying thing is that once a “condition” is achieved we continually move the goal post.
When linked to shame, it can be very painful to be an insecure overachiever.
We all have limits and we all make mistakes! Learn to aim high and reach goals in a more sustainable and graceful way!
Emotions
we are more than just thinkers
We are all wired with an emotional brain, and some with an innate sensitivity to being big feelers. Given how unique we all are, contained within each of us is a colourful world of emotions with varying shades and intensities.
We tend to categorize emotions as either good or bad. More accurately, some are more uncomfortable. When we tune into them, learn to ride their waves, or dial them to an intensity that best guide us, they are vital to our wellbeing and relationships.
Trauma
beyond the unpleasant…
Beyond an unpleasant experience, “trauma is something that happens to you that makes you so upset that it overwhelms you” (Bessel van der Kolk). Trauma can mess with our perception of time, making current symptoms and behaviours linked to unresolved past trauma.
Relationships
we are wired for connection & belonging
Vital and impacting all dimensions of our wellbeing!
When we feel misunderstood, it often triggers a mix of complex emotions—real connection and understanding helps to untangle that!
